Well, it is 11pm, and I have an assignment submission tomorrow. I have done nothing all day. I read a friend's blog, wrote a nice and long comment (his gtalk status msg had him asking for comments), and then wondered why it never appeared. I made a list of all the things that I had wanted to do in insti since the day I came here. I am already in my final year and more than half of it remains undone.
And now, I am thinking of all the reasons I can possibly give my professor for not doing the assignment.
1. Sir, I did my assignment, but left the room door open, so the cat came in and urinated on it (yuck!!)
2. The monkeys tore it.
3. My Matlab crashed and I was not able to run the code. (I am not sure though that the assignment requires Matlab nor do I quite well know if matlab has a crashing tendency.)
4. I lost the questions sheet ( really lame)
5. I went to the hospital for some minor cough and they quarantined me suspecting swine flu. ( This might force me to miss a week of classes resulting in a W grade)
Junta, please help.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Fall of the Arabians
Background:
This is a common english 4 liner as adapted to a bunch of Arabians in the desert. Arabians generally use camels and are fond of ladies.
Ring-a-ring-a roses,
The nude model poses,
The old camel dozes,
And all fall down.
Composed by: Sheikh Abhiram Railkar
PS: The above rhyme also shows the disinterest of old camels in nude models.
This is a common english 4 liner as adapted to a bunch of Arabians in the desert. Arabians generally use camels and are fond of ladies.
Ring-a-ring-a roses,
The nude model poses,
The old camel dozes,
And all fall down.
Composed by: Sheikh Abhiram Railkar
PS: The above rhyme also shows the disinterest of old camels in nude models.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Swine Flu origins (and insti ofcourse)
Disclaimer: I am practising for Shaastra Scifi writing, and I do not intend to offend anyone. The article is purely fictional.
Ever wondered how this swine flu started? Read on to know more and comment if you are surprised.
It all started in the April of 2006. There was a guy studying in IIT Madras, who was from Pune. (Duh..thats not me..I wasnt into IIT at that time.) He had an ambition. He wanted to be the leader of SoE at Shaastra. He got together a team of dedicated students to work on his project. Little did they know what the effects of their success would be in the following years.
This person had a dream. The preceding SoE's had been Peper bridge, Basacule Bridge, Tensegrity tower, etc. There was nothing moving in them. Now this new team had only three words: "Want to Fly". And they got down to business. They searched the internet for designs to help them fly. All work was done in top secret lest someone flew before they did.
However, the team did not notice that they were being watched. Just a few months before, pigs were driven out of IIT Madras and now they wanted revenge. Some pigs, disguised as humans, joined the team. And they learnt all the secrets of flying. They wanted to fly, away from the dirt of the ground, and demonstrate to the real humans (who were trying to make automatic dirt cleaning machines), who was superior.
Now, one would ask, the SoE was demonstrated in Shaastra 2006, then why did the pigs learn to fly so late? Well, firstly, the first few attempts at flying went wrong. The flying machine crashed, and pigs did not want that to happen to themselves. They waited for a couple of more years, till the flying was perfected. Till then, they were a part of the team and no one knew. Then they flew.
That was a year ago. But then people did not notice that pig flew. They had to make it popular. Then came the VISA advertisement of Matt Harding. It was a common stupidity to dance, but the "Viral video" funda made it popular. Now the pigs learnt something more. They had to make it viral. They learnt how to use computers and integrate that with the flying machine.
Due to a lot of efforts from the PR boys of Shaastra, there were articles in the papers about the IIT students flying stuff. During one of the demos, the pig disguised as a student had messed up his polyjuice potion (that he used to source from one of the Gurunath juice wizards) and his real self showed up. The Deccan Chronicle journalist (who had strong contacts in IIT and was a Tiffanys regular) got to know of this and the Headline next day was:
"A Swine Flu" (you know the level of english spellings of DC journalists).
Ever wondered how this swine flu started? Read on to know more and comment if you are surprised.
It all started in the April of 2006. There was a guy studying in IIT Madras, who was from Pune. (Duh..thats not me..I wasnt into IIT at that time.) He had an ambition. He wanted to be the leader of SoE at Shaastra. He got together a team of dedicated students to work on his project. Little did they know what the effects of their success would be in the following years.
This person had a dream. The preceding SoE's had been Peper bridge, Basacule Bridge, Tensegrity tower, etc. There was nothing moving in them. Now this new team had only three words: "Want to Fly". And they got down to business. They searched the internet for designs to help them fly. All work was done in top secret lest someone flew before they did.
However, the team did not notice that they were being watched. Just a few months before, pigs were driven out of IIT Madras and now they wanted revenge. Some pigs, disguised as humans, joined the team. And they learnt all the secrets of flying. They wanted to fly, away from the dirt of the ground, and demonstrate to the real humans (who were trying to make automatic dirt cleaning machines), who was superior.
Now, one would ask, the SoE was demonstrated in Shaastra 2006, then why did the pigs learn to fly so late? Well, firstly, the first few attempts at flying went wrong. The flying machine crashed, and pigs did not want that to happen to themselves. They waited for a couple of more years, till the flying was perfected. Till then, they were a part of the team and no one knew. Then they flew.
That was a year ago. But then people did not notice that pig flew. They had to make it popular. Then came the VISA advertisement of Matt Harding. It was a common stupidity to dance, but the "Viral video" funda made it popular. Now the pigs learnt something more. They had to make it viral. They learnt how to use computers and integrate that with the flying machine.
Due to a lot of efforts from the PR boys of Shaastra, there were articles in the papers about the IIT students flying stuff. During one of the demos, the pig disguised as a student had messed up his polyjuice potion (that he used to source from one of the Gurunath juice wizards) and his real self showed up. The Deccan Chronicle journalist (who had strong contacts in IIT and was a Tiffanys regular) got to know of this and the Headline next day was:
"A Swine Flu" (you know the level of english spellings of DC journalists).
Friday, August 7, 2009
Pigeon hole principle
GD: Macha, I want to ask this girl out. What do you think?
GDC: She is wierd. I dont think she will go out with anyone.
GD: uh oh........
GDC: Why would anyone like to ask HER out??
GD: See da.....in insti, there are more pigeons than holes. Thats why.
GD's co-core: And the pigeon hole principle states that if there are more pigeons than holes, then there has to be more than one pigeon in the same hole!!!!
PS: Another friend advised GD: If you want to ask her out, be sure to wear armour, or else, you will die.
GDC: She is wierd. I dont think she will go out with anyone.
GD: uh oh........
GDC: Why would anyone like to ask HER out??
GD: See da.....in insti, there are more pigeons than holes. Thats why.
GD's co-core: And the pigeon hole principle states that if there are more pigeons than holes, then there has to be more than one pigeon in the same hole!!!!
PS: Another friend advised GD: If you want to ask her out, be sure to wear armour, or else, you will die.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Between friends
Two room neighbours have been talking about their girlfriends all night long. Early in the morning, they see a freshie going to take bath.
As typical in IIT, people do not behave in socially acceptable ways.
"Dude, the freshie is coming"
"Ya....so, what was I talking about? Once I saw a lazy chameleon"
" Oh! How do you know it was lazy?"
" It did not change its color man!!"
" ha ha ha hoohohoo......why is this freshie taking sooo long to enter his room .....a***ole....."
They hug eachother.
"Macha, the privacy of the wing has been lost, now that freshies have come to stay here.. pain..."
" Dude, shall we dance?" They hold one hand, the other is around the waist.
" Wait, its the other way round"
"Ya....you have Saarang workshop fundaes, so... as you say" They change the position of their hands.
One step left, one right. They look at each others' faces and stare for 3-5 seconds.
"NAAAAAAAAAAAHH"
"NAAAAAAAAAH"
In shock, they let go of eachother, and move metres apart.
"Dude, I dont think I will ever look at your face again"
"You are not my girlfriend"
"Neither are you a female"
" Moral of the story: we are not gay"
"Yeah....we are not"
As typical in IIT, people do not behave in socially acceptable ways.
"Dude, the freshie is coming"
"Ya....so, what was I talking about? Once I saw a lazy chameleon"
" Oh! How do you know it was lazy?"
" It did not change its color man!!"
" ha ha ha hoohohoo......why is this freshie taking sooo long to enter his room .....a***ole....."
They hug eachother.
"Macha, the privacy of the wing has been lost, now that freshies have come to stay here.. pain..."
" Dude, shall we dance?" They hold one hand, the other is around the waist.
" Wait, its the other way round"
"Ya....you have Saarang workshop fundaes, so... as you say" They change the position of their hands.
One step left, one right. They look at each others' faces and stare for 3-5 seconds.
"NAAAAAAAAAAAHH"
"NAAAAAAAAAH"
In shock, they let go of eachother, and move metres apart.
"Dude, I dont think I will ever look at your face again"
"You are not my girlfriend"
"Neither are you a female"
" Moral of the story: we are not gay"
"Yeah....we are not"
Of freshies and seniors
The following conversation took place between two 4th yrs early in the morning after a night out.
"Dude, the way we have been talking all night long in the wing, the freshies' parents might think that one of us is a freshie who has been ragged by a senior all night through"
Coord: (laughs) so?
"They will call the police and send the senior to jail."
Coord: They know me as GCU coord, so you are the freshie.
"you will be going to jail!! (Yeah!! Competition for placements reduced by 1)"
This reflects the the current mindset of seniors with respect to freshies and their parents.
"Dude, the way we have been talking all night long in the wing, the freshies' parents might think that one of us is a freshie who has been ragged by a senior all night through"
Coord: (laughs) so?
"They will call the police and send the senior to jail."
Coord: They know me as GCU coord, so you are the freshie.
"you will be going to jail!! (Yeah!! Competition for placements reduced by 1)"
This reflects the the current mindset of seniors with respect to freshies and their parents.
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